Friday, November 17, 2006

Day 17: Oh, the annoying season’s blue!

Most of the time, I find myself in a bad timing. Most people get the season’s blue near Christmas, even New Year’s Eve. Me, I’m suffering it right now.

It’s really, really depressing to start counting your money for the Xmas presents... and discover you’re way short of it. To start evaluating what you’ve achieved throughout the year... and discover it hasn’t mounted much. To begin your Xmas wish list... only to discover some things will have to be out of your budget. And it doesn’t get better when one of your bosses craps on you just because he’s a jerk. Man, that really pissed me!

But, if I am to be really honest, I can’t crave on these feelings for too long. For a couple of days, I was feeling real down, as if there were no hope left, and somehow it was OK. But I got bored pretty soon. Feeling down requires a lot of effort, believe it or not, and one becomes tired of it. It’s difficult for me to stay “parked” on a single moment for long.

So, I started counting the good things. On the bright side, one thing has turned out right from all these crappy feelings, because suddenly I realized that not everything is that bad. On the one hand, me and my family are reasonably healthy and we’re not precisely bankrupt, and on the other hand, frustration can be turned into a new source of motivation. My job’s a piece of s**t? Well, time to start looking for a new one. My budget’s so tiny you can barely see the black numbers? Well, baby, ‘s time to start saving.

So, although I haven’t solved all my problems yet, and I still feel a bit upset, I think I’ll be able to work on my feelings ahead enough to get to Xmas with a smile on my face that’s not only skin deep, but a bit more sincere than other people’s.

Maybe getting the season’s blue ahead is not that bad, after all.

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