Saturday, July 07, 2007

Day 68: The nightmarish public loo

I wonder how a problem that seems local may be found somewhere else, given the fact I've been studying how many ideas have found a way to repeat themselves in many cultures before the advent of world wide web, especially in the kitchen, like pasta, bread-covered meat, sauces and so on. In this particular case, I would like to know if this regular problem female D.F. dwellers encounter every day is common to other women in the world.

Any woman who has found herself in the inexcusable need of a restroom in a public place in Mexico City is familiar with the following disturbing and disgusting annoyances:

- Small stalls: there's no public place that hasn't been designed under the fixed idea of saving space in restrooms, and there's nothing more hateful that the fact that, when a lady is pulling down her pants or her stockings in order to take the inevitable seat, she finds herself brushing her clothes or her underwear against the toilet, which are never as clean as one would desire. Absolutely revolting.

- The wastebasket in the toilet: may the Almighty curse whoever came up with that idea, but it is customary to find in Mexican stalls a damned paper basket next to the toilet, where uneducated women discard the used toilet paper, not taking into account how unsanitary that is. And if you consider they are not frequently emptied, you can imagine the amount of germs floating in the air, not to mention the reek...

- Sanitary seatcovers: alas, to be born a woman who always has to take a seat! If the sanitary facilities are not provided with hygienic paper covers, you have to pull meters and meters of toilet paper to place on the seat in order to protect your sacred... parts, which is particularly stressing when you are almost at the end of your resistance.

- The Lady-in-wait: I grew up under the idea this situation was only acceptable at very prestigious, extremely expensive places, but there is a department store, identified by their 3-owl logo, that keeps this funny ladies in the bathrooms, who never empty the dirty baskets, but cut the paper towel (in affronting small pieces) for you, and expect a tip for that. What the f*** is with that!?

- Lack of toilet paper: have you ever finished doing your things just to feel your stomack freeze at the discovery the toilet paper is not present where it should be? Well, if you have ever visited a movie complex or a supermarket in Mexico in the first hours of the morning, that is bound to happen, and nobody will give a damn if you cleaned yourself with your stockings or if you had to run stall by stall holding your underwear between your open legs, 'cause no matter how many times you bitterly complain, it will happen again next time.

- Public restrooms in crowded places: believe it or not, it is not mandatory by public regulation to build public restrooms in places such as bus stations, subway stations or public markets. Whenever you are lucky enough to find one, at the door you will find this angry-looking lady, to whom you have to pay a certain amount for the privilege of access, and who never takes small coins, oh, no. Pesos or nothing. This payment entitles you to receive a piece of toilet paper (which is never to be found where it should be) that never lengths more than 12 inches! If you want more, you must pay extra, and take her disdainful look at your particular needs.

I won't continue making you sick, oh kind reader, with other small but still revolting small annoyances that you may find in the quest for freeing yourself from your particular burdens in Mexico City. I just beg you to let me know if you have happened to experience first hand any similar pains, in order to find comfort and solace in the knowledge of the common sufferings.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Day 67: I'm still alive!! (2nd Cry)

I feel like crap whenever I remember I've been neglecting my blogs, and it really pisses me when the work load gets so heavy I can't even think a single creative idea. But enough complaints. That's what "Planeta Quejas" stands for.

Some unusual things I heard about or found out during this long hiatus:

1. A helicopter was stolen in Mexico City.
As amazing as it sounds, two guys rented a helicopter to take some aerial pictures, beat and tied the pilot up and flew away. No one happens to know where the chopper is right now. It vanished!

2. The ass is truly mightier than the proof.
My company has been about to loose a million dollar project just because one woman is sleeping with one of the fat cats. Despite the huge amounts of evidence provided by my company to proof this woman's incompetence, we almost lost the project! Thank God, the Big Boss heard about this and pronounced on our favor.

3. The naked guys on Reforma Av. are becoming a major tourist attraction in Mexico City.
The "400 pueblos" (synonym of tribe) continue their demonstrations wearing nothing but their long hairs (ejem) next to the Independence Monument. Hundreds of foreign tourists didn't miss the opportunity to video the naked mass. (Personally, I think human body is something beautiful... when it's in good shape!)

4. Intelipet makes your pet more intelligent.
Dog food brand 'Intelipet' claims their products can make your dog more intelligent. Rumor has they don't make cat food 'cause they would end conquering the world.

And so far these are the news for the week. And I'm still here!!